One Step

Not only I know I should step ahead
but I really do know Im not ready to be dead
after all the suicide attempts
all of the friends that were just prentend
rubbish was all I got fed by them
but now I know I'm a step further
just because I am not the one who got murder
one by one they all left, in them, no more live running
death was so close to me, I saw it comming
but then I saw the light on it's way
it burnt death down and it made everything okay
so now I gotta keep on building my own persona
now Im a good friend, good sister and a good daughter.

Dear Lord

Dear Lord, here, here I am again
life isnt easy but I am here to gain
gain whatever you give me Lord
I'm just here to talk to you, I dont want to be a fraud
I hope Sofia is okay, I didnt really wanna loose my best friend
is okay, everyone dies and everything ends
but loosing my boyfriend as well
death was in my head, constantly ringing like a bell
Lord, where are my relationships?
everyone is gone and Im in hardship
may be was a call from you to wake up
so bless me God, so I can get up
today is a new day, I just want to be straight
I would want to be in the right path, I dont want to go stray
this is the time, this is the time to turn
going with you, Sofia and Jay I wont return
this is a new life, a new day and a new beginning
protect me and save me, Lord.
till next time I hope you all listen to my words.

Friends

Friends are those people that care about you
a friend is the one that understands you
friend is no the one who always agrees
with what you say or do but is always there
a friend is the one that knows when to stop
a friend is the one that knows when to say what
a friend is the onethat brightens your day
a friend is the one who dont let you give up
a friend is the one that has the rights words
for the right moment
a friend is the one that is there when you are happy
a friend is the one that is ready to be there when things get tough
a friend is the one that is always looking after you
but doesnt annoy you about it
and friend is the one that can tell you how you really feel even when you dont show your real emotions.

Fair

Being fair is being honest with yourself
is saying what is true
and what is right
is to make the of ourselves
and the est in others as well.

There will be someone

Let your feelings go when there is someone
they will listen to you and guide you
and be with you through thin and thick
but sometimes we find people
that would listen
but we wont let them inside
to help us
we close our hearts and face away
but when we realize it, is too late.

Giving the best

Give the best of yourself
To whoever wants the best of you
and dont worry about those who dont want anything to do with you
or those who hurt you
because eventually they'll receive the same back
Dont hate anyone because when you do the only thing you will get
will be hate and anger
so give the best of you
give as much love as you can
so you will get as much love as you have given in return.

Happen

What happens when you dont know what to do or where to go?
when you are lost on your own world?
and then you cant find your way back?
What happens when people say everyone has being
through the same but I dont believe is true
becaise the is no a person that feels the say as anybody else.

Nothing

There are no words to speak
there are no words to write
there are no dream to dream
there is no hope to look forward to in life
there is no hapiness to brighten my day
there is no smile to make my heart come alive
there is sadness
there is just anger
there is just....
I dont know what is there
but I know I want to let go.

Mising you

I havent miss you as much as I miss you today
I found my eyes full of tears
and without being to hold them back any longer
they fall and roll down my cheeks

Tonight I have realize how much you mean to me
as I look into the sky and think of you
how much I long for your touch
how much I long for your kiss
and how much I want you to hold me
to me tight and never let go

Today I have appreciated every word you said to me
today when what I feel for you has being tested
I can stand straight and say
I'm falling in love
with the most amazing guy ever
with the guy that has such a strength
to cope with things
the guy with that tender passion in his heart.

Tonight I have learnt that guys is you
the guy that I surprisingly met
and the guy that bought peace to my heart
but even so I want you to know that I miss you

Never give up

Follow your dream
because when you dream
you have hope
and when you have hope
you want to live
and when you want to live
you feel like waking up every morning
but when you dont have dreams
there is no hope
and when there is no hope
there is nothing to look forward to in life
and when there is nothing to look fowars to in live you give up!

Fires of love

Not much effort is requires at first
to start a fire, it is easy to do
once it's burning, your ae lifted from a curse
but to keep it burning, you must have two
each person must give a branch that is theirs
to create something so warm and so strong
so many good things can come of whats shared
raw's cooking, cold's warm, the fire will burn long
together they can protect the fire
against elements such as wind and snow
together they are cursed with rain clouds and other woes
with perseverance that no one can budge
nothing can smother the fires of love.

Faith

You always love me unconditionally
never gave up on me
I never knew I have feelings for you
but inside of me they grew
even when I was with my ex
you were there for me
doesnt matter how bad I fucked up
you always had faith in me
and you kept me alive.

Now I'm crazy about you
I think of you when I go to sleep
and in the morning you are the 1st thing in my mind
you being my best friend
you being my brother
and I want you to be my man
I wanna tell you the truth
and is that I'm in love with you.

Messed up

Im so messed up and lost
but I am madly in love
sometimes is hard
but it aint dark
because I have a dream
it will never be dimmed
I love you dearly
deeply and only truelly
sometimes it doesnt seem
bt my heart no one can read
my love will never go away
I swear forever to stay
my heart is gone to you
and to you'll always belong
I cant live without you
and that is the real truth
you are like my soulmate
in heaven you were made
I will hope for your return
out love will be truelly due
you know me so well
is like you have casted a spell
I know I can be a pain
and cry like rain
I know mistakes I always make
but something is true, I will always love you

Love is Pain

I never knew but I finally understood
That to love is to feel pain too
It wasnt easy to understand
but it has sank in and now I know
that I gotta enhoy the pain
just as I enjoy the love
sometimes I can be full with anger
and I think of myself as a stranger
sometimes I truelly wanna dies
but I will never give up.

Everytime I love with all my heart
pain will always hunt me down
and will makes me cry all night
even though all I do is cry
I can feel the love deep in
I know for sure that if I didnt cry
I was because love had die
so if you had never feel pain
is because love you never felt
love is pain
it aint hard to understand.

Missing you

Today I miss you even more
I think of the sweet face we adore
and that sweetness is gone
I dont think for long
Coz I really want you back
but the reality is dark
I cant hope for your return
your time was really due
I know you are not truelly gone
because in my heart you'll always belong
I know Im gonna miss you
Trust me I already do
I can see you went away
but I promise to you I will stay
so I can make it all new
and for better days.

Gone

Even though you are gone
I dont feel so alone
I can stell feel you near
I think you in my ear
I dont the truth
I dont wanna live without you

We were both deeply in love
We felt like white doves
they we're both bad boys
we heard we were gonna be treated like toys
we were scared but we went ahead
with time our fears were dead
they dall head over hills
we fall in love and it was a deal.

Then you went away
without a warning or a say
I'm all alone
But I dont believe you are gone.

A girl that Reads.

Share your life with a girl that reads. A girl who read has issue with space, not for her cloths but for her books. Find a girl who has had a library card since she was twelve. Find a girl who has unread books available to her, the one that quietly and so intensively looks over shelves intrigued.

The one that will silently cry when she finds a book she has being searching for a long time, you know that girl that can find the smell of pages fascinating, especially when they are yellow and can be found in the second hand bookstores, they have history.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street, the one that is so lost in the world the aurthor has made to believe. Try sitting next to her, she might glare at you and ignore you because she doesnt want to be interrupted but ask her about the her book and she will bedazzle you with enthusiasm.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Be sincere about your thoughts on Murakami, discover if she read beyond the first chapter of the fellowship. She might try to say she understood Ulysses to sound intelligent. Find out if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

When you love a girl who reads, give her the gift of words, in poetry, in songs, allow your words to move her soul and reach the daskest places in her imagination. Giver her words of Neruda, Sexton, Pound or even your own. Always let her know that you understand that words are love.

Date a girl who reads, she knows the difference between the fantasy of books and reality. She will however try to bring a little of that fantasy into her life, dont blame her for it and it will never be your fault if she does.

BUT she will give it a good shot.

A girl that reads, she understand syntax and that behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. Date a girl who reads because she understands that usually failure, always leads up to climax. A girl that reads knows that things always come to an end, but that a sequel can always be written. A girl that reads is not afraid to be herself and is honest because she understand that people just like character develop.

When you find a girl that reads, keep her closer to you. You will find her at odd hours of the night close to her pages, completely inmerse waiting for the ending, she might even weep, just fix her a cup of tea and allow her to linger in literature. You will loose her for a couple of hours, but she will always come back to you.

She’ll talk about the characters in books as if they are real, because for a while, they are to her. You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

With a girl that reads, You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads. Or better yet, date a girl who inspires to write.

Completeness

Today I realized how the simple life leads to a sense of completeness I have found that there are 3 very foundamental stages:

1st:
Build a relationship with God.
No is not about being religious, no it is not about following rules is about building a relationship with God.. getting to know God.. allowing him to take care of you and your life.. and serving him in whichever way you can possibly do. If you can give money then give money, if you can fast something in your life or quit it all together then do it, if you pray then go ahead and pray.. but always keep in mind it is not done out of a routine or to look or feel good.. do it because you want to encounter God in a deeper level, because you want to seek him because you want more of him, you want living water to be pour onto your spirit.
Do it and build a relationship with God through the right door.. 1st Christ 2nd your heart. Open the door to Christ allow yourself to be in him and then allow him to take over you.. your door, your heart.

2nd.
Love yourself.
If you are like I was and dont know how to and you always wonder how do I love myself.. well let me tell you start by faking it you gonna love it so much it will come from within. You were made, you were created, you were NOT manufactured in some company/organization. You are the master piece of an artists, you are the winning piece. Love the things that you dont find attractive they STILL make you who you are. Seek solitude, just be by yourself, enjoy you own company, sing (even if you cant like me), dance, do whatever you need to do but appreciate yourself. DO things that show you that you love you.. I do my hair, my nail, make up, I moisturize daily, I drink plenty of water, I stopped heavily drinking, stopped smoking, get enough sleep.. really do the thing that tell you that you love you and you will see a big difference in your life.

3rd.
Fall in love.
When I said completeness I never mean it was gonna be easy. NEVER be afraid to fall in love no matter the circumstances specially if the person you fall in love with brings you right back and builds on stage number 1 and 2 (mind you they dont have to happen in order but it does help). I BELIEVE IN LOVE, being in love is the best thing that can happen to any one, staying in love however is a magical encounter with 1 person each and every day. Is seeing the other person for who and just what they are right now, who they were and who they will be and still appreciating them. Learning to love their flaws because it makes them who they are... it makes them that master piece of the artist. RELATIONSHIPS however are about putting work and efford BUT most of all is about APPRECIATING and RESPECTING each other as well as SHOWING love and affection. If you want to stay in love and have a relationship you MUST allow GOD to be the CENTER of that union, to be the TOWER, the PILAR and the ROCK and make each other a priority.

YOU MUST NOT QUIT

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;

When the road you're travelling seems all uphill;

When the funds are low, and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but have to sigh;

When care is pressing you down a bit -

Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;

The silver lining of the clouds of doubt;

And you can never tell how close you are

it may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -

It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

 

There are people that...

Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts,
and we are never, ever the same.

Me gusta cuando callas - Pablo Neruda

Me Gustas Cuando Callas


Me gustas cuando callas porque estas como ausente,
y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te toca.
Parece que los ojos se te hubieran volado
y parece que un beso te cerrara la boca.

Como todas las cosas estan llenas de mi alma
emerges de las cosas, llena del alma mia.
Mariposa de sueno, te pareces a mi alma,
y te pareces a la palabra melancolia.

Me gustas cuando callas y estas como distante.
Y estas como quejandote, mariposa en arrullo.
Y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te alcanza:
dejame que me calle con el silencio tuyo.

Dejame que te hable tambien con tu silencio
claro como una lampara, simple como un anillo.
Eres como la noche, callada y constelada.
Tu silencio es de estrella, tan lejano y sencillo.

Me gustas cuando callas porque estas como ausente.
Distante y dolorosa como si hubieras muerto.
Una palabra entonces, una sonrisa bastan.
Y estoy alegre, alegre de que no sea cierto.



I Like You When You Are Quiet

I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent,
and you hear me from far away, and my voice does not touch you.
It looks as though your eyes had flown away
and it looks as if a kiss had sealed your mouth.

Like all things are full of my soul
You emerge from the things, full of my soul.
Dream butterfly, you look like my soul,
and you look like a melancoly word.

I like you when you are quiet and it is as though you are distant.
It is as though you are complaining, butterfly in lullaby.
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:
let me fall quiet with your own silence.

Let me also speak to you with your silence
Clear like a lamp, simple like a ring.
You are like the night, quiet and constellated.
Your silence is of a star, so far away and solitary.

I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent.
Distant and painful as if you had died.
A word then, a smile is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it is not true.

Animal instict

When we understand that man is the only animal who must create meaning, who must open a wedge into neutral nature, we already understand the essence of love. Love is the problem an animal who must find life, creat a dialogue with nature in order to experience his own being.




Ernest Becker

Waiting for Love

Love is something that comes to us all at different stages of our lives. Be patient because the person for you is there, but he or she is waiting for the right time to make their entrance into your life. Sometimes when things seem bad it's really not bad because just think someone else always has it a little worse. Friend's come and go, but always try to be a great friend to those you consider friends and don't pretend to be there friend. Treat them the way you want to be treated even if they don't treat you right because in the end they will see who they should have turned to

Can love be explained?

"We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesnt diminish its value. Because we are left with memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives."

I love me and you?

“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.”


I came across this quote.. and I thought I share it with all of you, because at the end of the day it is true, this is what I life by. you gotta love yourself and make yourself happy.. because no one else can do it for you, the only person that can love you the way you deserve is yourself.
Later on the track you find people you will adapt and be able to compromise with to share special moments with.. and love.. we shouldnt go out looking for someone to appreciate us for who we are because the only person that would be able to truelly see you for who you are is the person staring back at you in the mirror.
for my message for today is simple.. love yourself.. take a chance and try it.. Ive done it and I love myself and my life

Better Person

see I was looking at someones profile and they had a very interesting question!


How do I make myself a better person!?

I like that question so reminise about it and this is what I came up with I hope you all can find some help from it.



be the best that you could possibly be in everything you do, when something wrong happens, thank life that it happen, because of at the end you be a better person no matter how much hurt it may bring. bless those that do wrong to you because it is only through those people that we learn what not to do. Respect yourself, enjoy today as if it was your last day because it may as well be. but most of all love yourself because no matter what happens that is all we got ourselves. Live and let other people live. If there is a bump on the road before jumping ahead think why is it there, learn from it and move on. reflect constanly on your life and the things you have done and from those, make it better next time around.

Simple??

No matter how simple we are or how simple we would like life to be, there is times where life just gets a little complicated, and it is besides our control.
I found myself in a complicated situation, a situation that I knew sooner or later would find me. The funny thing is, I wanted the simple part of the situation, I just didnt want the complicated part and obviously, I didnt think it was going to happen right at this moment, because at this moment it where the obvious complication finds me. No matter how logical we may be, there is something that we cannot fight and that is emotions. emotions just like faith is something that goes past logic. Ones you have feelings for a person.. logic seems insane.
There may be 100 people in this world that a person may like but it does go down to one or may be two people that you like, that have the power to stimulate you mentally, psychologically, emotionally and as a matter of fact logically.. without there being room for logic. It creates a complete and extraordinary chemical reaction. There is variables that alternate this reaction.. to which makes it "complicated" but what happens when this two chemicals are bound to mix, they keep finding there way into a formula, no matter how complicated it may be.
In other words.. like every ones says sometimes is worth fighting for what you really want, even if it doesnt work, at least you know you tried and gave it your best. I believe if you try hard enough the other person will be able to see that you are been genuien that you mean what you say.. and besides.. how can two people avoid a chemical reaction?

Child of God.

I am so grateful to be alive, right at this very moment. With my English limitations but my creativity as vivid as ever, I am here. In this very moment and this very second as I type this words and as you read them I am here. Fully present in body, mind and soul. So who am I? a child of God. My path with God has never being easy, I have stray, I have sin not only against other people or God  but most of all I have sin against the greatest gift of all MYSELF. I do not admit my sins with pride but with humble humility because I am able to see my sins. I am a child of God, his love lives in me and I in his love. He forgives me before I sin, even before I was born his love for me is so immense that I was forgiven for sins I had not yet done.

I am amazing because I am God's child. I am not perfect but it is in my imperfection that the mercy of God dwells. It is because of my weaknesses that God is active in my life. It is because I fall that he seeks me every day. He has given me so much; a life for me to choose what to do with it, without judgement or restrictions. He has given me the path for ME to make the choice. He has given me an amazing father of whom I learnt to love myself, a father that through my imperfections loves me just as much. A mother who carried me for 9 months and still in her heart and souls holds me dear, A woman who is the best example of a mother. A sister who showered me with the most astonishing love, a brother in law whose humble heart embraces me as his only sister. 2 girlfriends who have seen me laugh, cry, fall and get up every time. A friend who is almost like a brother and who never fails to remind me of what an amazing and powerful woman I am and finally a man who has cried with me and laugh with me. Every time I fell his hand was waiting there, to help me up, A man who till today sees not the worse but the best in me and at my worse it is when his love is at it's best because he shakes me to my deepest cores, breaks the walls I've build and finally allows light in to my heart. That man is my best friend and the man that I love and he is too my gift from God.

So yes, I am a God fearing woman, yes I am beautiful, yes I am amazing, yes I am a powerful and strong woman, I have awsome qualities that shine as bright as gold but most important YES I AM A CHILD OF GOD!

The Journey

There is so much I would like to write about, I have millions of ideas in my mind but none of them seem to solidify right now. I think is because I'm trying to write for an audience and not for me may be that is a start. I just want to share so much that I have found out in the last few days that it is chocking my inspiration, words just don't seem to add together right now.

I've embark a journey of healing and self discovery and it takes so much courage to be able to search deep inside. We let our fears build a movie of things and obstacles that may not even be there. We allow ourselves to build fictional screen about our lives and the people around us. Unconsciously we act in a way that might lead us to hurting the people closest to us the people we love. You gotta be happy with life, with who you are. Happiness is the journey we ultimately take.

I believe that as we embark this journey of struggle, fill with courage and much happiness achieved we are bound to find love, and that Love's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, the most beautiful thing about this love it's that it's real, it shakes you to your deepest cores. It makes you see your deepest fear with unconditional support. The most beautiful thing about this part of the journey is that it happens without us even knowing. It is not a conscious course of action but a mere flow of the heart, of the spirit, of God's immensity, connecting people together.

It is said that we have to love ourselves before we love someone else, I ought to deffer. I'd like to propose that it is the love that another person awakens in us that allows us to be able to awaken that self love. I believe that it is through sharing an emotional  and profound bond with the other person that unlocks and grants us the potential to love the other unconditionally but also ourselves.  God created man and woman, we are a key and a lock to unravel our extensive potential, it was Jesus love for his church that unlocked the forgiveness of sins. This bond is a gift from God, a blessing, a true treasure and the best tool for us in this journey called life.

Dreams

It is a new year and we all slowly getting ourselves back into the mode of work, school, children, classes whatever it might be. Most of our resolutions are still fresh in our minds and we are still very discipline. It happens every year, and soon enough most of us would have let go of those resolutions by mid year and guess what?? that is okay... but what happens to our dreams? to our ambitions?

I will tell you this year can pass you by and you can even forget about your dreams but one day soon enough they will catch up to you. life on it's own rightful time will show you, will guide you towards those dreams, those ambitions that have slowly shaped who you are. Our past shape us in one form or another but there is a certainty that it was our dreams that allowed us to make those choices, either out of fear or rebellion but we did made the choices and they got us here where we ar today.
It is impossible to blame someone else for where you are today, you made the choice to be where you are! how?. by not doing anything, by not loving yourself enough, by doing to much, by holding back, by not trusting in life, not having faith, not opening up.. but you took the choice to do what was right for you at the time. However it is not about being a victim, it's about allowing ourselves the knowledge, that we do the best that we can. It is to empower us as dreamers and believer of who we are and what we can achieve.

Dreams and ambitions are real, it is only fear of failing, of not being enough that allow us to be stuck where we are, so you can make a choice, you can take the led and let go of the fear.. and you can embrace your dream, you can push your limits and go beyond the horizon and reach to the door of the universe.

Fears and Insecurities

How much do we allow our fears to play with our mind? how much do we then allow our mind to tame our feelings and finally diminish our fire. I am a very passionate woman, I believe to have a flame in my heart and I have never being able to subside it. I finally realize that I don't want to, why would I want to kill the passion that drives me to be me.


I do get afraid and I can be fragile and there are days where I really don't know what to do with myself because I do have insecurities to deal with. The more I see them and the more I am actively discovering me as a person as a woman that feels with a tremendous passion, I come to the realization that I'm not alone. Yes we all carry insecurities and fear around us all day, there is no reason why deny it. Why have we allowed society and our way of life to robe us from the truth? YES WE ARE ALL AFRAID. we fear different thing but we are all afraid of something and that fear drive us to feel insecure and I have discover that it's okay. Yes.. it's okay to be afraid, it's okay to feel that your heart hurts and that it's burden. It is just a matter of how much you allow your fear to take over you and gain the understanding that it will soon pass whatever it is.

I have allow my fears to drive me to the most darkest places in my mind and heart, I have suffered not because of my past or what other people have done to me but because I allowed my fears to do so. So I won't tell you that I no longer fear and I wont say that I don't have insecurities but I'm learning to deal with them. I'm finding ways and things that help me realize how much power I have over them. How my fire doesn't need to me tame but needs to be allow to breath and flourish. It is in this fire that I defeat my fear, I wont lie I still get afraid and I still have many insecurities but I don't allow them to paralyse me any more. I don't give them the chance to break me down to tears. I have learnt that I can use that fear to produce courage. To be able to achieve things I might never thought possible. at the end of the day what is the worse thing that can happen!? and if it does.. doesn't life go on?

So I don't hide my fear because I let my passion, my fire deal with them.

Motherhood

1stly I would like to clarify that no, I am not pregnant, now that it's all clear I can begin.

Everywhere in every day life women talk about a biological clock, there is theories and all sorts of arguments about it but what is a biological clock?
It has come to my own attention that the term "biological clock" for women is nothing more than the desire to have children. When the party life and unstable ways of youth seems to be less noisy than the desire to nest our own child.

It seems that after all, I do have a maternal side and despite the hectic and destructive life I led, it has finally flourish. I am amazed at how much a mother loves her child even before he/she is born, I am amazed to see how holding a baby in my arms can bring a joy and peace I never knew I could reach. To know that one day my womb will carry my own blood and bone, that I will be able to give life to another human being and that out of love a baby will grow inside of me.

There is a phenomena that takes place in a young woman like myself when the desire of having children seems to over take her. I've gain a strength and will power that drives me to do things I never thought I could or would do in the past. It has given me a desire to push my limits, to heal my past and to deal with my unresolved issues all due to a longing to provide a better life for that child.

I am convince that child and mother share a bond that goes beyond conception, a bond that starts when a woman's predilection of bearing children takes over her.. at that point a baby has appointed her as a mother. That woman has been chosen, her feelings, her thoughts and her emotions are no longer only hers they are shared with a being, that only lurks in the spiritual realm but that it's deepest desires are the moment of conception.

And finally in my opinion I think is futile to say that a mother doesn't know when she has been chosen.

when two people fall in love is funny.. no one elses sees it. except them.. after they are in love, they can get through anything together.

All we have is this moment, right here, right now. The future is just a fucking concept that we use to avoid being alive today. So, be here now

Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Psalm 103:1

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9

Aun Puedo escuchar tu voz, de tanto deseos de hoy tener tu calor ... tanto me perdi la dicha de tu amor si me extrañas mira el cielo que en las estrellas estoy yo.

The most beautiful thing about the heart is that it's def and it's blind. it doesnt see distance, it doesnt see race, it doesnt understand politicis or social classes, it does hear the mind and it's demanding opinions, it doesnt see or hear any points in arguements and fights, it doesnt hear words or sees actions it ju...st feels thems and the only way it can posibly communicate is by loving with endless passion.

Cold nights in which I miss your presence, a desire to have you by my side, but is also the certainty that to miss you is the key to feel you, so that you be here with me.

thinking

I have realize that I cant try to live life in one day but I feel that to hold on and let things take it's course it can get real hard because at the end of it all... what if we dont have enough time.

HE LOVES ME

ummm he loves me.

The Joy

Today the sunshine smile at me and the wind caress my skin, it gave me so much joy. It was like life was smiling with me from the inside. The funnies thing about it is, I dont have a job at the moment, I dont have that much money either, I am not in love as I dont have a boyfriend and I dont even have alot of health at the moment and I'm very very very happy.

Friday

Ex's. People always say an ex is and ex for a reason, what if that reason was just made out assumption. I assume something and well I broke the relationship, without listening to excuses. As usual I stop talking to my ex's, I like cutting them out of my life actually. 5 years later this ex reappears and we are just talking. We have not seen each other. He keeps making remarks about the relationship and how he is not married yet and so on and I FEEL that there might be something growing again.

But my question is how do you know if your ex is into you again? can you be just friends, even if it has being years (4-5)? Is a little confusing. He said that he was happy to be single and that it scared him very much, that he is happy that way. WELL that makes no sense. some guys are real confusing.

Any way that is all for today
Love always
V

Surender

Today I had a hell of a day. I had being feeling nausaous and have gastro (due to some illness I might talk about in the future). It was hard because I felt alot of people were actually cutting me out, I was trying to tell things and I felt like no one wanted to hear me!! so frustrated. Any way so I decided that I should talk to the person who usually and I will actually put it in bold usually doesnt cut me out, but to my surprise he too isnt having a good day and didnt cut me out but was rather blunt and not so supportive about the situation.

Regardless of all this, I actually being in a very positive mood, Im amazed about it because Im trying to also quit smoking and I actually shouldnt be in such a good mood but I am. I have work myself to only having a smoke a day. It has being 3 days and I have one had ONE SMOKE each other, hopefully I will work myself up to no smokes at all.

Any way as the progressed I have being thinking.. what is true love? I come to the conclusion that True Love is the type of love that is unconditional. when you love someone so much that no matter how far you are or if they are with someone else or if they mad or if they get impatient and frustrated with you, you still know that you will be there for each other and that you love each other regardless. I know someone with who I feel that way towards and I have surender to that. I dont know if we would ever have a relationship but for now his friendship and his kind words and his support mean alot to me.

So my dear friends, surender to love and it will surender to you!
Love Always
V

who knows.

Dont you find it amazing when you feel powerful and so confident about the way you say things? well today I felt that way. It feels great when I find the right words to talk to someone about a delicate situation. It amazes me how sometimes the words just flow and we are able to express our self in a very confident manner without hurting the other person.

I find that communication is so important in finding the right way to say things is the key to getting ahead sometimes. I have my moment when words would just flow in a way that sometimes I dont even want to stop talking.. however I also have those days where everything I say just comes out as a desaster. YIKES!!!

Have you ever felt the sun smiling at you? I know that might sound a little crazy but Im serious sometimes you wake up and you just feel so rediant.. I feel like that right now and well Im going to sleep.

Hope you all have a great evening.
Smile.. is contagious
Love always
V

Ones upon a time.

I had thought all day about my blog and what my next post should be and well as the day progressed it come to me. Sometimes in life we meet a wonderful person, someone who is kind and really cares about us and we are attracted to them. But what happens when they seem to cage you in?. When I was younger I used to be like that, I wanted to be with someone 24/7 and I couldnt understand why they didnt want to talk to me all the time, why didnt they want to see me all the time? didnt they like me? didnt they feel what I was feeling?

Well we all know life works in wonderful way, the tables have turned. A few months ago, November to be precised I met someone. He is a wonderful man and he is a great catch but I find that I feel trapped with him, I love a sensitive guy but I have discovered Im not so keen on a emotinal guy (big difference). We dated for a few months and out of no where he vanished, we didnt speak for a whole month. At the begining I was frustrated because I really did like him, Then I got upset and finally I got over it and moved on.

Today however he called me, he had a very valid reason as to why he has gone missing but I dont feel the same any way and I realize how trapped I feel with him. I know this might sound a little crazy but I always thought he would grow on me and at some point, he did. I also grew used to the idea that he wanted a steady relationship and something serious, I think that was one of the things that I got caugh up in the most. He wanted to get married and he would support me in all the ways possible.. including financially (which I felt very uncomfortable about sometimes as I was in a situation that I needed it, but I didnt want to be compromised).

The conversation today was left unfinished, but now that I have had time to think about it, I dont think I can do it any more. I believe in love to much, I love when 2 people find each other and they just fit. So lets put this as an analogy, He is a beautiful shoe, it's comfortable, it's the right price, it matches with some of my outfits but it doesnt fit, it doesnt come in my size.

The Beginning

I've always enjoy writting and I would love to be a writter one day, I just doubt myself about it alot sometimes. I'm reading a book called One fifth avenue and one of the characters actually does a blog, I never thought much of blogging to be honest even though I am only 22 I find it some what confusing but now I have embrase the blogging world.

I can get very emotional and passionate sometimes about the things that I write and mostly they are just my opinion and how I feel about things in general, specially about life and love. I would love for people to actually share their opinions and how they feel about the things I share with you.

My idea would be to post something on a daily bases but it might happen more offend or I might not post anyhing for a few days, also my post might be a little length but I will try to keep them short but if they are length please stay with me, one more things if you dont like what I write you are entitle to your own openion and I will respect that but I will really appreciate it if you post it in a positive manner. Saying "it sucks" doesnt give me anything to go on with, give me your thoughts and how you feel about what I writte.

I hope you enjoy reading my post.
Love always
V