Motherhood

1stly I would like to clarify that no, I am not pregnant, now that it's all clear I can begin.

Everywhere in every day life women talk about a biological clock, there is theories and all sorts of arguments about it but what is a biological clock?
It has come to my own attention that the term "biological clock" for women is nothing more than the desire to have children. When the party life and unstable ways of youth seems to be less noisy than the desire to nest our own child.

It seems that after all, I do have a maternal side and despite the hectic and destructive life I led, it has finally flourish. I am amazed at how much a mother loves her child even before he/she is born, I am amazed to see how holding a baby in my arms can bring a joy and peace I never knew I could reach. To know that one day my womb will carry my own blood and bone, that I will be able to give life to another human being and that out of love a baby will grow inside of me.

There is a phenomena that takes place in a young woman like myself when the desire of having children seems to over take her. I've gain a strength and will power that drives me to do things I never thought I could or would do in the past. It has given me a desire to push my limits, to heal my past and to deal with my unresolved issues all due to a longing to provide a better life for that child.

I am convince that child and mother share a bond that goes beyond conception, a bond that starts when a woman's predilection of bearing children takes over her.. at that point a baby has appointed her as a mother. That woman has been chosen, her feelings, her thoughts and her emotions are no longer only hers they are shared with a being, that only lurks in the spiritual realm but that it's deepest desires are the moment of conception.

And finally in my opinion I think is futile to say that a mother doesn't know when she has been chosen.